“You have to find a job now” said my husband a few weeks after I resigned from the pastoring role I shared alongside him.
It was just a fortnight after I had fled the family home for a week, in panic and an abortive attempt to take stock of the mess we were in.
It was 2008. Suddenly and almost overnight, I had lost all meaningful occupation, contact with friends and dwindled congregation and had no obvious reason to pray, write, email, phone or visit anyone. Nor they, me. They were confused, had been misled and scandalised about my sanity and integrity.
I had been isolated gradually from everyone I loved and who loved and respected me. This was the point I had sunk to after six roller coaster years of demanding and consuming church leadership. Even our premises had been flooded under two feet of river water a year earlier. My marriage had been an empty endeavour for years. I was as they say “burned out”
So I had to get a job. We had a mortgage and two children of 10 and 14yrs.
It had always been my income that earned the significant household budget but the lack of sensitivity shown to me at this time was typical of our relationship. This urgency of financial need is how I came to attach the first photo to an application for a nursing position in a local prison. It was certainly not my passion to return to clinical nursing, even less within a prison! I didn’t see the irony at the time but the photograph here that I carelessly took says it all! I had never been so ambivalent about an interview in my life! Neither, it seemed were the prospective employers. That day I was offered a drink of water in a lipstick stained mug upon my arrival!
Turn the clock forward six years. I had narrowly escaped the prison job and been blessed with a rewarding home based nurse coaching role on a great income. A gentle means of working full time despite frail emotional health. I held fast through two years of estrangement under the same roof before a final legal notice post-divorce was honoured. My ex-husband finally left;my impasse had been the only way of continuing to provide a home for my children.
I joined an international tribe called The John Maxwell Team at some personal risk and stirring excitement. This was an increasingly value adding journey which led to me meeting Kary Oberbrunner at the first Founder Circle Live Event in Florida, 2011. Kary immediately picked up on the buried dream I had of writing a book. From here I became fascinated with his teaching Your Secret Name and moved from strength to strength as I found new assurance of my identity as a courageous and sought after daughter of God.
Moving forward bravely as the imposter I felt myself to be, I worked through many fear barriers of networking and business building, awkward pitching and a lack of confidence about my unique specialist proposition. It was as a delegate of the second of Kary’s virtual teachings The Deeper Path that I found clarity and depth of confidence in a process that revealed my passion and the purpose for the rest of my life. This would be both my work and my play…helping others Disentangle their Genius. I resonated deeply with the frustration of the oppressed, overlooked and devalued. Meanwhile a challenging and breathtaking opportunity to deliver a large leadership training to a NHS Trust opened up to me and gave me the necessary freedom in my schedule to scale back on “the day job”.
When Kary’s Author Aacademy Elite programme was launched in April this year I was convinced again. This was the next step, right on time in my long recovery from hopelessness. I flowed in creativity and energy in the completion of my manuscript in four months! It was a gift to find myself able and available for this task. A ridiculous deadline kept me focused and so I am due to attend the Igniting Souls conference in November. I will be showing up, filled up-with a book to deliver to the world and a testament to the power of a life that was re-ignited through friendship, faith hope and love.